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It’s constrictive…oppressive and honestly I feel like I’m in groundhogs day…I read a post on.IG today and I ended up so sad I can’t think of the last time I thought “god I’m so happy right now so thankful so lucky” yes other people are happier with less than me but I find it cruel I would be given a keen mind only to have it riddled with mental illness…I have no idea what true happiness is or what it means or how to get there…in the back/front/center of my mind there is always this voice saying sleep give up let go…

Ugh I can get out of bed eat then go back to bed….I need some fucking energy…in the mean time I will continue to look at pictures of hot men with beards mmmm and dream